Thin Walls/Thick Ears by Jeff Namian

Tired of renting and ready to own a piece of the pie? Financially, you might be but mentally? That's a different story especially if you buy into a co-op. You're buying shares of stock in a corporation, not just an apartment. The neighbors are your business partners. Your doormat requires approval.

As thick as anonymity is on the street, it gets blown to smithereens once inside your building. You hear everything. You share a laundry room. People analyze your recycling items. Doormen know your comings and goings. The vetting process of the co-op board is so stringent that by the time you move in everyone knows everything there is to know about you down to your blood type. Yes indeed, co-ops request medical records along with ten years of financial documents. Pregnant? Well you're not building a nest in most co-ops. White and gay? Welcome aboard.

Thin Walls/Thick Ears presents the absurdities of cooperative living. Key swaps. Cat sitting. An alcohol-fueled holiday party becomes a minefield.

Your vacuum cleaner belongs to everyone. It eventually gets returned.

Your privacy? Good luck getting that back.